paul brunton

I can't attribute to me that I am reading Paul Branton
I am dummy and i can't change my stance
yet I look at myself and my changes in the course of life
my inability to check my passion and longing during 1977
my deep effort to forget my personal relationship in 1975
my wounded pride conflicting with my courage and honesty
my pages of pages daily writing of whatever came to my mind to put an order in my mind s that i can be at least professional
my marriage my family life
my near 40 years struggle to make progress and control thought
my current realization that i am nothing but dummy
yo yo played by that remain distant i can't touch but playing with me setting up people and male think their thought and hurting my pride and make suffer and dance in order to maintain my status-quot as balanced human being and not crazy which i know i am
my inability to be to make any progress in the eyes of fellow human being
the question of superiority or inferiority is deep troubling matter for me
I like to keep it hidden in my self
even when i hit nadir
i let it happen with great suffering

every moment of my life is divine